I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
