im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
