He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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