last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Did you just see the Batmobile???
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Randomize
