where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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