This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
