I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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