my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
