Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
