ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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