He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
