You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
