i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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