Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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