thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
