i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
