i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
