The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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