u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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