his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
