Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
