I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
