yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
