He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
