so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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