one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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