I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
