So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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