Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
