a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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