Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
