the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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