ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He kissed a someone with a penis
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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