My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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