It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
