He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize