I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
