some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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