he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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