a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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