I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
