I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize