Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
