we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
