Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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