so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
