She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize