That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
