you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
