That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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