Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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