I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
