I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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