My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I forget how to act sober
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