Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
