It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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