How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
false alarm. still invincible.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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