we have officially lost it.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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