I feel like I'm in dance class right now
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
We need to rekindle our bromance
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
