Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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