At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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