maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
