Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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