dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
