I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
