I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
