She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
